Part 1 - Cigarettes and small print - I just can't get enough

Time for a second blog I think. I decided to keep this one short since yesterday's was like a mini novel.

So I've decided to do a blog about two things that really annoy me. Cigarettes and small print for those of you who hadn't read the title. So here goes....

First comes cigarettes (For obvious reasons). Its not the smoking of cigarettes I'm making a fuss over but the Government's plans to stop youngsters smoking them. Don't get me wrong. People who are too young to smoke should not. It does so much damage even when your over 18 let alone when your younger. That's why theres an age limit after all. But isn't the point of being young to be reckless and make mistakes like smoking or drinking too much and having liver problems at age 12 and not caring about these sort of things and getting pregnant. It isn't?!? There goes my whole belief system.

But anyway I'll get too the point. The measures that are being discussed by these moronic MPs are these: 1. Ban cigarette (or fag if you like to talk like that) vending machines 2. Ban logos and designs on the cigarette packets themselves. They idea is to have them in plain white boxes with 'Cigarettes' written across the top and 3. To ban the 10 packs that kids seem to love. Believe it or not I have problems with all three of these ideas. For idea No.1 I very much doubt kids use these machines anyway. I only seem to see then in seedy uncool pubs that these young'uns wouldn't be seen dead in. 2. I don't know whether its just me but I've noticed that when one of these scallywags doesn't have a choice in the matter they'll pretty much smoke anything. And finally No 3. My favourite idea. Doesn't the Government realise that two kids, who would each only have enough for a pack of ten, could clump together and be able to buy a pack of twenty. This after all, already goes on. I've seen it. It isn't pretty.

So instead, maybe a good idea would be to use the talent that these kids have for smoking and get them to smoke sausages or kippers. "That isn't the same kind of smoking?!? Oh well. There goes my brilliant idea" But you get my point. Maybe they should invest in giving this lot, who seem to have no imagination, something to do. The reason these kids start to smoke, in my very arrogant opinion, is because they have nothing to do in the first place. They stand on street corners, see someone else standing there with them smoking, their impressionable mind gets going and the next thing you know they're down the local papershop trying to persuade someone who's old enough, to buy a pack for them. Its a vicious circle that no apparently "cool" kid can avoid. So that's my idea. Give them something to do. It's a simple idea but one that will give the government those savings from the NHS that they want. After all that's their secret plan. Instead of caring for the health of the people they want to stop having to pay for smoking related illness in the future. Imagine all the millions (of pounds) they'll save when smoking related illness levels drop. Its the same for Obesity and Drinking aswell. You can see the secret poundsigns in Gordon Brown's eyes right now.

So, in conclusion, the government should let these kids and even adults do what they like. If they want to smoke or drink, let them. After all, we live (apparently) in a free country. So let them makes they're mistakes and let them regret it in the future. If these kids remain under the impression that smoking is cool they'll always find a way to smoke. That's a matter of fact. The best action the government can take is to use reverse psychology on these little....darlings. Gordon Brown should say smoking is cool. This will put them off for good and we won't have any problems again. Simple but very, VERY effective.

Part 2 - Small print will follow tomorrow

First post 'ere - Intros and scallywags

I thought I'd use this post to introduce myself and describe what my (hopefully) daily blog will involve.

First off, my names Chris, Chrissy or whatever version of Chris you want to call me. Really I'm not fussed. I hail from exciting England and spend my time playing guitar and cycling. But that's enough about me.

I decided to start a blog that tells of the levels of stupidity (particularly tourists and MPs) in the world today and also encompasses my general moans and groans about absolutely anything. Plus I may also use it to discuss worlds events (but not to necessarily moan about them) or anything that tickles my fancy so to speak. I just ordered a new mobile which has 'Blogger capabilities' so I'll be able to upload a new blog hopefully everyday as I'm sitting at work (except Sunday). Maybe I should have a day off from blogging on a Sunday.

But anyway back to my intro. I work in a job that is very close to the public so I have seen some incredibly stupid things in my time as a....... I'll leave you to guess that actually. So I decided to start a blog so that anybody out there who wants to listen to my interesting life and stories can. Somethings you wouldn't believe however I'll leave these to a later date. Don't want to run out of things to write after all. However I'll start off with one that just grinds my gears everytime I see it happen.

So today I used a public toilet. Nothing to strange or stupid about that you might say. However this particular complaint/observation/moan comes from the hand dryers and the people that use them.

I've noticed that this particular public toilet uses the automatic models that go off if you move your hand away from the sensor. Fair enough and that's not the problem for me. The problem comes from the morons that use them and give them a bang when they stop blowing a less than gale force gust. You see them standing there, drying their hands, happily humming a merry tune in their heads until......duh! duh! duh! (supposed to be a suspenseful tune BTW) disaster strikes. The dryer stops!!! A expression of puzzlement and confusion comes across their face as they try and work out what evil has caused this to happen. They try the on/off switch but to no avail. Finally as a last gasp attempt they start hitting the dryer in an attempt to bring it back to life with the magical power of their hand. Success!!! They dryer comes back on and starts blowing the less than gale force gust from before.

The final straw comes when they move their hand for a second time and it stops again. But this time Mr Moron knows the solution. He bangs and he bangs. Success (again)!!! Its starts to work as he places his hand under the sensor. Feeling pleased he gives himself a clap only for disaster to strike once more. Duh!!! Duh!!! Duh!!! (Suspenseful music again) This is the final straw and he leaves, defeated and red with anger. His soaking wet hands scraping on the floor and a once perfectly healthy hand dryer left mangled in its final resting place. He has one thing to snarl to me as he walks past me. "Stupid dryers never work!"

This is a typical example of what I have aptly named "The Hand Dryer Moron". Everytime I go in there seems to be at least one. When I stand next to them I find it so hard not to laugh at them or say to them "Even a chimp could get that to work" but that would probably push them right over the top and I probably wouldn't be able to leave at all.

So that's a typical example of what really gets me moaning. Nearly turned into a novel. Any blogs that follow will probably the same sort of thing although I'm new to this blogging lark so it may change. I'll also try and cover my trails and tribulations in life. Nothing too personal ofcourse but you get the idea.

Anyway thanks for listening to my first ever blog and I hope you'll stay tuned. Was actually quite fun to write if I'm honest.

Not sure if I'm supposed to finish like a letter with my name on a blog or what so I will since its my first attempt.

Thanks,

Chris

P.S I hope all you readers out there realise how to solve the hand dryer conundrum. If you don't maybe you are a 'Hand Dryer Moron'

P.P.S I have opened accounts on Youtube and Flickr. This way I can uploads videos and pictures to them that may be of some use to my blog. So subscribe or add me as a friend or whatever

http://www.youtube.com/Dailymoansandgroans
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dailymoansandgroansblog/