You must be having a bath if you think you're half inchin' that...

After watching a few episodes of 'Little Britain: USA' I decided to see what the Americans thought of this sort of obscure humour. Its not for the faint of heart afterall. I took a peak at the imdb.com page for it and came across a number of Americans complaining about a couple of British comedians faking American accents and making a social statement about the country. Guess they got a taste of their own medicine.

Whenever you watch an American TV show and theres a British character they are always either an upper class twit or a total cockney. I for one do not sound like either. I don't find myself going up the apple and pears or drinking a cup of Rosy lee as the Americans TV producers would have you believe.

I can think of another five English accents without even thinking about it. We have Gerodie, Northumbrian, West country, Brummie, Cornish, Yorkshire....I know thats six but the list goes on and on. Thats just England. Go to Scotland and every different city and area seems to have its own accent.

So Americans, take note. We British don't just speak the Queen's English and we don't speak Cockney instead. We have a diverse language full of accents from thousands of years of history not just the two you portray us as having.

Mind you I won't be complaining about the whole being sophisticated idea. Thats one area where you've hit the nail right on the head.

Oh and hello Steph

Peace out!

Call me Romeo

So i'm a romantic guy. More romantic than most if i'm brutally honest. I'll comeback to this in a minute.

I'm depressed about the fact that theres no romance left in this world anymore (told you I would). I bet alot of you will have just shouted out " What about valentines day?!?". In a way, valentines day is an excellent opportunity for men to brandish their wives or girlfriends with gifts. Its even better if your the owner of a massive card company. So back to my point. Shouldn't everyday be like that. Surly we men don't need a reminder to make the women in our lives feel special.

This gets my goat. What also gets it is the fact that theres no one going on dates anymore. Its now a case picking the girl you want and saying " Yep, you're my girlfriend now"

All women want is to feel loved and that they're all that matters to you and yet you have to be reminded to buy a measly card once a year. Tsk Tsk. Things need to change. Bigtime.

"Baaaa" went the human...

I feel like I'm living in a movie. One of the Star Wars movies to be exact. 'Attack of the clones'. I'm not exactly flying through space right now or fighting off droids with a bright blue lightsaber. That happens when I'm asleep. Rather Its the whole clone part of the story.

Living where I do I am surrounded by tourists in the summer months. They arrive in droves with their bad manners and park anywhere attitude and annoy the hell out of everyone else. Whats worse though is the fact that everyone looks the same. They seem to wear the same clothes and have the same gormless look on their faces.

Being unique is a rarity nowadays and seems to be becoming a sin. Wear something different or listen to a "weird" kind of music and you get a "Burn him/her at the stake" attitude.

It stems from this need to conform and be classed. We're taught how to in school and are expected to keep it up until we're cold in our graves. I for one was absent when this lesson was taking place. I have never classed myself, I listen to the music I want to listen too, I enjoy the things I do and don't care what people think.

Everybodys different afterall. Everyone likes different things so why are people trying to fit into a mould that is two sizes two small. Its time to stand up and be unique.

So for those who are like me I applaud you. I would certainly have a coffee at Starbucks with you anyday.

A long time ago in a blog far, far away....

Wow has been quite a while since I last posted. Mostly because I was making my posts far too long and it became a chore. So i'm back and better than my already brilliant self (My head just barely fits through doorways now).

So where should I begin.....I think I'll start this new blogging streak with a bunch of twats that fill me with rage. Debt collection agencies. Now i'm not in debt myself but have read countless forums and watched many shows full of people who complain about them (and for good reason). Basically they threaten and depress the people who owe them money. They say they'll get the baliffs to visit you and take your stuff. They say they'll take you to court blah de blah blah. They seem to think people can magic money from out of nowhere. Thats the reason there'll be no credit cards entering my wallet. I won't give them the satisfaction of making me feel like dirt.

I did some research into the powers of a baliff. Suprisingly they seem to have none atall. They can't break into your house, they can't just take your stuff and they can't harass you. If you have one knocking on your door, hes not allowed to force his way in like they'll have you believe. Simply lock doors and windows and give him a pleasent smile and a wave as he turns red.

So don't feel frightened by these big bullies offer them an amount you'll pay every month and they can't really reject. If they harass, put a complaint into trading standards or whatever organisation deals with them. Its time for a revolution. Stand upto them and make your voice heard.

I also can't stand people trying to sell you things. Heres a good exaple of how you should answer the phone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI (The link should work but I had to type it out)

So as they say, POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!

PS3s and 360s - AKA Oranges and Lemons

First post for a while. I've been busy you see. I'll get straight to the point...

I'm on the eve of getting one of the greatest games ever. Metal Gear Solid 4. I won't go into any detail about the game because I can't be bothered to right now. Now alot of people preorder games. Maybe I should have done that and had the game today. But to be honest I'm just not that sad. The only game I've ever really preordered was GTA4 and that's because I knew it would sell out and I would have to wait ages to get it.

So anyway back to my point. In my exciting I've been looking around on the Internet for reviews, videos etc etc and stumbled upon this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3zl2BjDSBk&NR=1

It's not the vid I'm about to moan about its the fanboys who have commented on it. You know the guys who like to post things like "PS3 sucks" or "360 blows". Chances are they haven't even used both consoles before and spend their time searching forums just so they can make their opinion heard.

I bought my PS3 for the simple reason that I wanted one. I weighed up getting a 360 but just liked the PS3 more. I'm not about to argue that the PS3 has better graphics blah de blah blah because really who can see any difference at this moment in time. I'm not going to defend the PS3's online capabilities etc. For me online play is not that big a draw in a game. I much prefer a good single player campaign.

So anyway the fact of the matter is this: Instead of arguing with people and criticising each others consoles, get playing them.

Peace out

Phones, Guitars and Egyptology

Been a few days since my last blog so I decided to write a new one. This one will be a little different to my previous ones.

So whats been happening these past few days i've been quiet? Well 1. I've been waiting and then setting up my new phone which is exceptionally good by the way. The only problem is it doesn't have the Blogger software on it like I was promised but aprt from that its an amazing piece of kit. 2. Been playing alot of guitar. 3. Been learing ancient egyptian. Bit of a useless skill really but who cares. Maybe it will lead on to me doing Egyptology at Uni. Wouldn't mind that actually. 4. Also been looking for a new job.

Wasn't the most exciting blog but just thought i'd update you all.

Party tomorow so i'm looking forward to that ang right now i'm eating a lovely white chocolate magnum. mmmmmmmm!!!

Good old Reality TV strikes again

Ah the day after the night before. No I wasn't out drinking last night. I'm talking about the final of Britain's got talent. The result of which caused quite a stir in this household.

After watching the series (mostly) from start to finish, I was delighted (well sort of) to finally be able to watch the final. Watching as a Signature supporter through and through, I had the boring task of watching the other finalists try and impress viewers at home. Granted they had talent but the majority of the acts had all been done before so I just wasn't entertained. Finally came on Signature and did another one of their brilliant performances. Sadly it just didn't have the effect of their previous two (which I suppose is the trouble with acts like theirs. They just aren't suited to shows like that). But I still thought they had what it took to win. Boy how wrong I was.

On comes the results show. I'll cut to the chase and start from the final three. Sitting anxiously on the edge of my seat they announced who had came third. Shock one of the night. That opera kid came third. Personally I thought he was good enough to get to the final two. Finally, they announce the winner. The final two acts are of course Signature and that stupid epileptic kid who can't control his body. Shock two of the night. Epileptic kid won!!! I was utterly shocked. This kid who I never even noticed during the whole competition had actually won. This kid who looks like hes having a fit actually won!!! This kid who tries to do a backflip at the end of his act, fails and then lands flat on his back actually won!!! Sorry to go on but that what was going through my mind as he started to cry on stage like a girl. If that's entertainment I don't want to know anymore.

The reason he won, was not because of his generic and mediocre talent, it was all down to his sob story. That tool that people in these type of programs like to use. It also comes down to all these women and 13 yr old girls thinking he's cute and not looking actually looking at his talent. I actually did drink that night. Purely for the shock at how stupid people in this country actually are and how powerful the sob story can be.

I would like to ask anybody who voted for him out there one question. If say he didn't become well known because of Britain's Got Talent and you hadn't heard his sob story, would anybody honestly go pay and watch him dance over say one of the singers or that classical quartet?

Answers on a postcard please.

(Small print will follow tomorow. It was supposed to be today but I never thought I would have to write a blog about this)